The Transformative Power of a Question

Have you ever been mid-conversation, and someone drops a question that stops you cold? You open your mouth to answer… and nothing comes out. Your mind goes quiet, almost startled, as if someone just pulled back the curtain on your own thoughts.

Those are the moments that change you.

Because in that pause—before your old autopilot kicks back in—you see yourself differently. You notice a truth you’ve been sidestepping. You spot a door you didn’t realize was there. And suddenly, you can’t *unsee* it.

In my work as a life coach, I’ve learned that self-discovery isn’t about collecting the “right” answers. It’s about asking **better questions**—the kind that strip away surface-level thinking and invite you into something deeper.

The five questions I’m about to share are deceptively simple. They’re not tricks or pop psychology party games. They are tools—powerful ones—that, if you use them honestly, will reshape the way you see yourself, your choices, and your future.

Before we dive in, here’s my one request: **don’t just read these questions. Sit with them. Write your answers. Let them marinate. ** The real transformation comes not from skimming, but from engaging.

—

Question 1: “What Do I Truly Value—And Am I Living by It?”

Why Values Are Your Inner Compass

Your values are your personal “true north.” They are the principles that define what matters to you—whether that’s freedom, honesty, creativity, connection, security, or adventure.

Here’s the catch: most people have never consciously identified their values. Instead, they operate with **inherited values**—absorbed from parents, peers, culture, religion, or social norms.

And here’s why this matters: when your daily choices don’t align with your authentic values, you feel a subtle but persistent friction. On paper, your life might look successful, but it feels strangely empty.

**Research Insight:** A 2018 study in the *Journal of Positive Psychology* found that individuals who live in alignment with their self-defined values report greater life satisfaction, resilience, and meaning—even during hardship.

Exercise: The Values Audit

1. Write a list of 10–15 values. (Search “list of personal values” if you need inspiration.)
2. Circle your top five.
3. Score yourself from 1–10 on how well you live each one daily.
4. Pick the lowest score and brainstorm **one small action** this week to live it more fully.

Example: If “creativity” is in your top five but you score it a 3, maybe you sign up for a weekend art workshop or start a daily 10-minute sketching habit.

—

Question 2: “If I Wasn’t Afraid, What Would I Be Doing Right Now?”

How Fear Poses as Logic

Fear rarely announces itself directly. It hides in phrases like:

* “It’s not the right time.”

* “I don’t have the resources yet.”

* “I’ll start after the next promotion / move / milestone.”

But if you strip away the “logical” reasons, you often find fear sitting quietly at the centre.

**Research Insight:** Harvard Business Review has reported that people systematically **overestimate the risks of change** and **underestimate their resilience** in facing challenges. This means fear often has less to do with reality and more to do with perception.

Exercise: The Fear-Free Vision

1. Write down one thing you’d do if fear vanished.
2. List every fear holding you back.
3. Identify the **smallest possible action** toward it—something under 15 minutes.
4. Do it today, before fear has time to negotiate.

Example: If you’d start a podcast, record a single 5-minute voice memo for your ears only.

—

Question 3: “What Stories Am I Telling Myself That Might Not Be True?”

The Invisible Scripts Running Your Life

We all carry self-stories:

* “I’m shy.”

* “I’m bad with money.”

* “I’m not a leader.”

These stories can be empowering—or they can be cages. The problem is, they *feel* like facts because we’ve repeated them for years.

**Research Insight:** Neuroscience shows that our brains create “neural pathways” for repeated thoughts. The more you reinforce a belief, the more it feels automatic and true. The good news? You can rewire these pathways through intentional practice.

Exercise: Story Detective

1. Write down a belief that limits you.
2. Ask: *Where did I get this story?*
3. Search for at least three pieces of evidence that contradict it.
4. Rewrite the belief in an empowering way.

Example: “I’m bad at public speaking” could become “I’m improving each time I speak in front of others.”

—

Question 4: “If My Future Self Could Give Me Advice, What Would They Say?”

Why This Works

Imagining your future self helps bypass short-term fears and tap into long-term wisdom. It’s a visualization technique backed by research from Stanford University, which found that people who regularly connect with their “future selves” make better career, health, and financial choices.

Exercise: The Future Self Letter

1. Picture yourself 5 years ahead, living your ideal life.
2. Write a one-page letter from them to your present self.
3. Notice repeated themes or advice—they’re clues to your next steps.

—

Question 5: “What Would Make Me Proud a Year From Now?”

Why Pride is a Better Compass than Pressure

Most people set goals based on expectations or external validation. But asking what would make you proud flips the focus inward—making goals personal and deeply motivating.

**Research Insight:** A 2020 study in *Motivation and Emotion* found that authentic pride (pride in effort and progress) is one of the strongest predictors of long-term achievement.

Exercise: The One-Year Vision

1. Picture yourself 12 months from now, feeling deeply proud.
2. List three achievements that would create that feeling.
3. Map the first steps for each.

—

Bringing It All Together

These questions are more than journal prompts—they’re **mirrors**. They show you what you’ve been avoiding, what you’ve been underestimating, and what’s been waiting for you all along.

If you spend one week deeply exploring each, you’ll have more clarity than most people gain in years.

Remember: self-awareness isn’t about judgment—it’s about curiosity.

—

Next Steps

Book a free Clarity Call to explore your answers and design your next chapter.

Here is a list of 105 writing prompts for self-reflection and self-discovery

I hope this extensive list provides you with ideas and inspiration to help you explore and reflect on your thoughts via writing, blogging, journaling, or some other creative form.

Self-development

1. What is your life motto, or what words do you live by?
2. List the top life hacks you swear by?
3. What is/are your greatest strength/s?
4. Do you have a routine, or are you a person who hates routine?
5. What does success mean to you?
6. How have you grown this year? And what have you learned?
7. We are all unique individuals. What makes you uniquely you?
8. How do you define success? What do you consider your greatest personal success?
9. What are your hobbies, and why do you do them? If you don’t have a hobby, what would hobby you like to take up?

Well-being

1. What are your top self-care tips?
2. How are you feeling right now? Physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially?
3. Is anything causing you stress at the moment? Explore what you can do to decrease it.
4. How do you maintain balance in your life? Are there any changes you need to make in your life?
5. When you are feeling down, what picks you up?
6. How do you look after your mental health?
7. Are you addicted to social media? Assess yourself honestly and explore how it impacts your life and what changes you can make.
8. How do you look after your physical health?
9. Do a digital detox for a weekend, and then write about how it went. The positives, the challenges, and any changes you would like to make in future.

Explore

1. Head out to a cafe or somewhere public, sit, and people-watch. Write about what or who you see. Let your imagination run free. Write about the history of the people you see, what is happening, what they are thinking, and what their future will be.
2. Where is your favourite place in the world? It could be a country, town, place, room in your house or something else!
3. Write about the place you grew up. How has it shaped you?
4. Go for a walk with your phone/camera and take some photos. Afterwards, sit down and reflect on one of the photos you took.
5. My dream vacation is …
6. Pretend you are a tourist in your hometown. Head out for a road trip with your camera, take some pics, and write about it.

Memories

1. What is your earliest childhood memory?
2. Choose three photos of yourself across your lifetime and write about how you feel looking at them. On reflection, what were you doing in the photo, and what were you like at the time?
3. What is the best gift you have ever given or received?
4. Reminisce about your wedding day.
5. Write about the first time you saw/held your newborn. How/what did you feel?
6. My favourite childhood memory is …
7. What memory do you cherish the most?
8. If you could relive one experience in your life, what would it be?
9. What has been the most defining moment in your life?
10. Reminisce about your first love. P.S. It could be a person, a pet, a car, or something else.
11. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Relationships

1. What do you love most about your partner? Write it all down.
2. How has a member of your immediate family helped shape your life?
3. Who inspires you?
4. Write a letter to your child.
5. Who do you look up to, and what do you admire most about them?
6. Do you have a pet? Write about them!
7. Write a love letter to someone – it could even be to yourself.
8. What are the traits you look for in a friend? Why are they important to you?

Gratitude

1. Write about five things you are grateful for this week. In addition, you can write a monthly, quarterly and yearly gratitude list!
2. What is something that has impacted positively on your life?
3. List five things you love about your home.
4. What brings you joy?
5. Name three things you couldn’t live without.
6. What friends are you most grateful for? List what makes each friend so special.
7. Write a list of 99 things you love. I love this prompt. 
8. My favourite way to spend the day is …
9. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? Furthermore, what impact did this have on your life?
10. I feel amazing when …
11. What are four little things that make you happy, i.e. coffee in the morning, hugs, puppies, and a good book?

For Fun

1. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
2. What makes you laugh out loud?
3. List ten things that make you smile
4. What was the funniest thing you saw or heard this week?
5. If you could invent something, what would it be? Personally, I’d go with a teleportation device
6. Dad jokes, rude jokes, riddles and puns. What are your favourites?
7. What is the best concert you have ever been to?
8. If you had a theme song, what would it be? If it doesn’t exist yet, write your theme song!
9. What is the cringe-iest song you just love?

Self-reflection

1. How was your day today?
2. What is one thing no one knows about you?
3. Are you a spiritual person? Describe your beliefs and how they affect and define how you live your life.
4. What advice would you give your 20-something self?
5. If you were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing and the one person you would want to have with you and why?
6. Write a letter to your teenage self.
7. Write about a cause close to your heart and why it is so important to you
8. What does it mean to live an authentic life?
9. When do you feel happiest in your skin?
10. Write about something you have never told anyone about before.
11. What does growing older mean to you?
12. Sit down and do a life audit. Work through every section of your life and assess what is working well, what isn’t, and any changes you could make
13. What is your favourite season, and why?
14. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? How has it shaped your life?
15. What scares you?
16. How does it feel to be the age you currently are?
17. What is your favourite way to spend the weekend?
18. List all of the things you enjoy doing on your time off, so you have a go-to list of ideas for when you have time off!
19. Write the words you need to hear right now.
20. What makes you feel sexy?

Career, Goals & Dreams

1. What is on your bucket list?
2. List the things you need/want to achieve in the next week.
3. What is something you would love to learn how to do?
4. Write about your top three goals. What are they, how will you feel when you achieve them, and what will your life look like?
5. What do you consider your greatest professional success?
6. Describe your dream life.
7. What excites you about the future?
8. Write a life admin list, and then try ticking those items off your list!
9. Are you a city, a country or a beach person?
10. What do you want to be remembered for?
11. Where do you see yourself five years from now?
12. If you won the lotto tomorrow, what would you do? Where would you go?
13. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Creativity

1. Try your hand at writing a poem or a song. Use one of these prompts to guide you.
2. Interview an older person and write their story.
3. If you could write anything, what would it be? Fiction, non-fiction, biography, fantasy, YA novel, comic book, manga novel, a song, or something else?
4. Of all the books you have read this year, which has been your favourite, and why?
5. Write the opening chapter of your autobiography.
6. Do you prefer to read fiction or non-fiction? Why?
7. Write about a book, movie or song that has greatly impacted you.
8. Develop a list of writing prompts just like this one!
9. If you could meet a character, who would it be and why? What would you do when you met them?